RPG word play game
Humor - word play game thread on Enworld is extremely funny.
Every year, The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. In the spirit of that game, here are some new RPG-related terms some of my friends came up with.
Here are my favorites:
Book of Vile Dorkness - A book which cause the carrier to appear as the most hideous nerd, dork, or geek in a 100 yard proximity. Samples books include the titles C++ Revi[ea]led, Recalculus, Anything with Fungineering, and, of course thanks to WotC, the Players Handbook v3.5.
Pint Buy - a system of character generation best enjoyed in the company of friends at the local pub.
Sword and List - a guide to grocery shopping for fighters and monks.
Bull Rash: The attacker vigorously rubs a male bovine back and forth against his opponent, hoping to cause a painful skin condition. This provokes an attack of opportunity unless the attacker possesses the Improved Bull Rash feat.
Bust Monster: Feared by adventurers everywhere, their touch destroys armor by radically altering the figure of creatures touched by their antennae.
Hugbear: These goblinoids, eerily silent despite their large size, delight in sneaking up on unsuspecting adventurers and cuddling with them.
Stuff of the Magi - odds and ends that radiate strong magic and generally clutter up a room or area when used in a retributive strike.
Graze Attack - spontaneous and devastating appearance of thousands of herbiverous ungulates that proceed to defoliate the target’s lawn.
Summon Mobster I-IX: These spells will send you’ses enemies to sleep wit’ da fishes.
Farmian: These expansionist, insectile outsiders ruthlessly enslave all other creatures, forcing them to grow crops.
Groper: You don’t want to run into this monster in the Underdark. Trust me.Usually found near a Bust Monster’s lair.
Shydra: Too nervous to attack adventurers, these multi-headed creatures rarely leave their lairs.
Readership - Attract an editor and readers
Mail of the Banshee - Create a letter that emits a deadly scream
Read Dragon - His horde consists mainly of books
Neutralize Poisson: This spell makes any fish completely useless.
Rouge - guy who breaks into houses and makes people blush.
Mime Flayer - silent but deadly
Fit Fiend - “Allright…1,000,000,000 squat thrusts…NOW!”
Dorkskull - This wholly evil device continuously spouts awful puns based on whatever is spoken in its presence, including magical spells. If it makes a pun out of a magical spell, an actual magical effect will occur (consult chart for Wand of Wonder) and you will hear an unearthly loud nasal snort followed by a “horsey” laugh.
Wombat Reflexes - When startled, PC may burrow at 30′ /round
Umber Sulk: Confuses you, then complains about it.
Slumber Hulk: Confuses you, then takes a nap.
Power Word Krill: buries a target of up to 150 hp in shrimp.
Cloak of the Brat: Moooommm! I want one *now*!!! This cloak allows you to cast suggestion on a parent 3/day. All other onlookers must make a Will save or act as if effected by a Rage spell while within your presence.
Pixitxachitl: half-fey, half-devil ray, this evil creature that was not meant to be fires arrows that put you to sleep by forcing you to try to spell its name until you pass out from exhaustion.
Mall of C’thulhu - where the prices will blow your mind!
Power Word: Shun - we’re not talking to you anymore
Green Slim - corrosive dungeon-dwelling vegetable organism that eats away flesh, but only until the victim is svelte.
Wrath - this incorporeal undead is really, really pissed off.
Book of Vole Darkness- A tome describing the wickedness of small rodents.
Book of Exalted Weeds- A tome describing beneficial plants that refuse to die.
Blues Dragon- “Well since my mate done left me/ I’m mopin’ inside my cave/ Adventurers attack me/ They just won’t behave/ They try to take my treasure/ They try to take my jewels/ I breathe on them for good measure/ And electrocute the fools.”
Gibbering Mother- A parent who nags incessantly and brainlessly about the alleged evils of roleplaying.
Mild Shape - the druidic ability to take on the vague sembalence of any of a number of animals while simultaneously gaining none of their abilities.